It’s not that complicated

by Perina Chitubura
“It’s complicated,” if I had a dollar for each time someone I know said this; I’d be a millionaire. In my humble opinion; if you know what makes a relationship “complicated” then you know how to make it uncomplicated.


Most squabbles take longer than they should because of one thing; PRIDE. If during or after a fight we all learn to swallow our pride, half the relationships would be saved. Some fights go on for months only to notice that they could have been resolved in less than five minutes. I have noticed that once the first party apologises, the second party counter-apologises and then everything is hunky-dory. At this point both parties start to realise that they wasted a lot of time being angry and pompous.

Speak up

If you don’t speak about what bugs you then the next person won’t know.  You might have a colleague who enjoys humming while they work, or a sibling who plays white noise sounds to fall asleep. If you don’t tell them that they noise is annoying you they will never know. The same goes for other types of relationships, if you don’t tell the next person what annoys you they’ll keep doing it.

Listen then respond      

Listen when others speak up, don’t rush to respond or become defensive. Sometimes it’s OK to just listen and not respond. Respond only when you have fully digested what they said, even if you do so the next day. Take some time and put yourself in the other person’s shoes before you talk back.

Siblings, lovers and friends

After all has been said and done, you will realize that all types of relationships get affected the same because we are all human. It doesn’t matter if you’re fighting with a parent, lover or sibling. The first step is to acknowledge that: “It really is NOT that complicated!”

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